Sasquatch!

No more leg dragging. No more nerve pain. I have felt really good, but now I have a new problem. I guess my knuckles are expanding. They get really sore. My feet are expanding, too. I have heard that sometimes pregnant women's feet do not go back to their normal width. I already had wide feet. On one hand, I won't need flippers for snorkeling anymore (flippers are a hastle), but on the other hand, I will have to have special shoes made for the Navy Ball every year. Orthopedic high heels?

Almost 35 weeks!!

Here is a pic we just took today (Merry Christmas). And a 21/35 week comparison pic. I'm huge! No sign of them coming yet. I'm still doing great. I get emotional a lot because I can't wait to see them, but I'm guessing that's normal. We are very excited- only three more weeks left if they don't come sooner. (They won't let me go past 38 weeks. It's a twin thing.) I think they like it where they are, though. They are about 5 lbs each now, if not more. I feel even heavier the last few days, so I'm assuming that could be the case.

4 Things to Know

Being pregnant is an automatic entry into a secret club. Things happen to you that were never told to you before you were pregnant. These things are not in books. Women who have had children do not tell women without children of these things. It's a cult. I now know of these things from joining the cult, but thankfully have not experienced the ones that would be too gross to post here. Most of them, anyway. I think. (Not that I would tell you.) I guess that means I am continuing the secrecy. I have, however, had some crazy G-rated things happen, so I will share. Because they are funny, of course.

1) The challenge of eating: I didn't know this was a pregnant thing until my sister confirmed this. I cannot eat anything without getting it on my shirt. It's like a carnival game. No matter how good I aim, I miss my mouth. My sister says that I'm so focused on getting the calories in, that I just throw the food at my face. I even forgot how to drink liquids.

2) Snoring: I've known that I've been snoring more, but what I heard coming out of me a few days ago was out of this world. I woke up in the middle of a snore and it sounded like I was an extra in Star Wars. Maybe from the bar scene in Episode IV. I really hope that I have not been communicating with aliens at night.

3) Hair Loss!?!: Everything I have read says that pregnant women have thick, illustrious hair. I hate to burst people's bubbles, but it is not always true! The truth is that there are three stages of hair (stagnant, loss, new growth) and the hormone progesterone makes a pregnant women's hair get stuck in one of these three patterns all at once. Turns out that right now, I am stuck in the "loss" pattern. What kind of BS is that?

4) Memory Loss: I couldn't remember this one. But I knew there were four things, so I thought really hard and remembered! Yay! I think memory loss during pregnancy is pretty well known, but it is absolutely true so I had to mention it. Last week I told John (I guess) that I was going to make Peanut Butter Balls. Twenty minutes later I started making them. I told him to stay out of the kitchen because I was making him a surprise. Then I said, "surprise!" and gave him a PB Ball and he was a little bewildered. Because I already told him I was making them. I do not remember telling him at all! We have conversations and then I'll ask him about the same subject 10 minutes later. I don't remember having the conversation!

To my single or childless friends out there, who may someday want to be crazy and procreate, I will disclose all "things" if asked. I should also add that every pregnancy is different and you can't go by any book. You can only find out the real deal by joining the cult!

Dance-off!

They are 4 lbs each. 4 lbs each! Can you believe it? If I can hold out for a few more weeks now, they won't need to be in the NICU. That is 8 lbs of babies and however many pounds of that other gross stuff. I believe strongly that it is the Double Stuf Oreos. I picture them with a thick creamy layer of Oreo filling underneath their skin.

One of them is pretty much going all of the time. Yesterday I thought they might be fighting, but I don't want to think of them doing that. So I decided that when they are both going crazy they are actually in the middle of a dance-off. Brittany Spears/J.T. style. "Oh, yeah, other baby in here, watch this move!"

And I will add that my son, who is really low down, kicks me in the guts. He is turned in facing my guts, so this is what he likes to do at 10 pm and 5 am. I can't believe how hard he can kick. And I can't believe how much I enjoy being kicked in the guts!

32 weeks

Baby Beluga is done!

I've been slowly painting a picture from a children's book called Baby Beluga that my friend Amy gave us. I love beluga whales and everything in the baby room is ocean themed (of course), so I thought it would be fun. Anyway, it is finally done!

More Ouches!!

Now when I lay on my right side, to get away from my left side hip pain, a baby sometimes lays on my sciatic nerve. Oh, my butt cheek. I have been able to move and get the baby off of the nerve so far. Unfortunately, I am growing every day. I don't know how, but I am. So hopefully the pain in my butt won't start and not stop one day. Other than that, I'm still doing good.

30 weeks

Happy Thanksgiving- here are me and my butterballs.

Diagram of our bed- to scale

I giggle everytime I get up in the middle of the night. I thought I would share.

Baby Update

As of last Wednesday, the babies were 2 1/2 lbs each! They are right on target. I think that they have already grown since then. Within the past couple of days I have been able to feel every move they make. We should be getting a camcorder this week or next, so I will try to record them. They should really start packing on the weight now.

No hole could be found in our boy's heart, so that is great news! It is still hard to tell in the ultrasound, so he will be getting one before he gets out of the hospital. I can't believe they will be born within the next 8 weeks or so. Isn't that crazy? Hopefully not for at least another 7 weeks.

Right now, I'm as big as someone with one baby at 34-35 weeks. I feel like I still have room, so I should be OK. I have a hard time getting up from the couch and my leg drags after a day of walking, but that is it for now- knock on wood.

My Last Outing

Last Wednesday, I decided to venture out on a shopping trip to get the last of what I need before the babies arrive. And before I can't move around very much. I say "shopping trip" because I live out in the middle of nowhere and it is literally a road trip to get to a major shopping area. Well, about 45 minutes, but that seems like forever when you are obsessed with a seat belt digging into you. Anyway, I felt like if I went alone in the middle of the week I would get a lot accomplished. Why? 1) No husband to get annoyed that I'm taking too long (yes, choosing a baby outfit on sale IS challenging and important), and 2) Who would be at the mall at 11am on a Wednesday?

I'll tell you who was at the mall on Wednesday- EVERYBODY! Who thought a pregnant lady would have to try and not get run down on a Weds morning. Married couples, singles with their friends, and women with their pre-schoolers (of course). They were all there. Does anyone work anymore? I had no idea it was Xmas shopping season already until I heard multiple conversations about almost being finished with "the list". Ugh.

And- there were at least 20 people in line for pizza at Sbarro's! I stood in that line, too. 20 people aren't going to keep this lady away from her pizza. All I'm saying is that maybe some stocks are tanking lately and the Xmas season outlook is not that great, but- buy stock in Sbarro's! I'm serious. Forget Apple. One hundred slices of pizza at mall prices are > or = to 1 iPhone.

So, after losing 4 hours of my life wandering around the mall(s), I realized that I could not go any longer. I wobbled very slowly toward my car with a tear in my eye. This would be the last time I could make it walking around on my own for that long. I keep assuring myself that it is OK because I have almost everything that two newborns will need. They will, however, be completely naked at 3 months ; )

27.5 Weeks

Happy Belated Halloween

I took an entertaining picture to post, but I don't have internet for another week, due to our move. And Verizon sucking. My two pumpkins are doing great, though!

It is sad that I didn't leave the house on Halloween, because my left leg has a slight drag to it. I don't know if there is a nerve or a "pubic bone expansion" issue going on in my left groin area, but the leg doesn't want to move as fast as the other one. It would have been funny to look like a zombie walking down the street last night, dragging my leg. Another missed opportunity!

Third Trimester!

It's been two weeks since I posted anything. I guess that is because everything has been pretty great. I was in my last weeks of my 2nd trimester- the "honeymoon" phase. I can't believe I spent my honeymoon in Maryland. Anyway...

Now that I am in in the 3rd trimester, my twins book says that my quality of life is going to go downhill within the next couple of weeks. The only thing that is slowly getting worse so far is my left hip issue at night. I guess because I only sleep on my left side, my phat a$$ crushes my lower hip area, where the leg bone starts. Not that my a$$ has gotten bigger since being pregnant, I've just always had a phat one (holla!).

My babies are extremely active. My boy is harder to feel because he is down really low. He kicks me in the bladder, though, so I know he is OK (no accidents yet). My girl kicks and punches constantly. So much so that I get scared when I don't feel her. I guess she finally has to go to sleep at some point. I had a peppermint shake the other night and she went crazy.

Since I should start to go downhill now, I plan to post more often. There is so much more humor in pain and aggravation.

24 weeks

My Son is a Rock Star

Yes, he is rather famous now. On the 6th floor of the Bethesda Naval Hospital, anyway. Last Wednesday, we visited the pre-natal specialist and the pediatric cardiologist once again, hoping to find out the extent of his heart problems. Quite scary, but I couldn't wait.

Before I continue, I should say that the "worst case scenario" of needing immediate surgery has been eliminated. He may or may not have a small hole in his heart. Most babies have this (at least in the upper chambers), but the hole closes after they are born. So we have no way of knowing if the hole is closing until he is a couple of months old. This is a more common diagnosis, so the risks are not as severe if it happens. And he might even be just fine!

Back to the rock star. We asked the pre-natal doctor to look at the sexes again just to make sure. You never know, right? As soon as he put the ultrasound thingy down on my belly, his goods were right there. Our boy immediately proceeded to pee in live motion. Now, you may be saying, "so what." But did you know it is extremely rare to catch this on ultrasound? Our doctor was so giddy about seeing this, he had to run out and get people to show. He actually got someone out of a meeting. He printed out a copy of the still picture and I told him he could post it on the bulletin board. Unfortunately, we were not able to create a file of the pee coming out in motion. But I have the picture just for you!

Description: hopefully, it obvious that his boy part is sticking straight up in the middle. This is a butt shot. The leg on the right is bent down at the knee (see the lower leg bone?) and his foot is in front of his butt. You can't see much of the other leg on the left because it is bent up by his head. And most importantly, see that cloud of of gray shooting out?

OK, now that we know it is a boy, I should say that our little girl is still a girl! Yay!

"What is the deal with that voice?"

"Will this chic ever shut up? She's constantly talking to me. Everytime I fall asleep she starts poking me and talking to me. Maybe if I kick at the voice... Nope. It's only encouraging her. She needs to find a hobby. Too much time on her hands. Hey, did she just kick me back? Who just kicked me in the head? Is there someone else in here? She's asking if I want to go for a walk. Do I have a choice? She's asking me what I want to eat? Well, actually, I wouldn't mind a grilled cheese or one of those frozen burritos..."

Posted by Baby B (girl)

Curly Wurly and Flake

I am rather disappointed that I have had no cravings. I thought it would be cool to have John run out and get me pickled herring at 1 am. Instead, I think about things I have always thought of my entire life, which all include chocolate. Since I'm trying not to eat a lot of it, I decided to focus in on only the chocolate products that are worth my sugar intake. I'm not eating any of that generic chocolate crap, like raisins or peanuts covered in non-milk-based chocolate. I want quality.

Thanks to my sister, I was once again turned on to Cadbury. I had forgotton how creamy that chocolate is. Since it is a U.K. company, I cannot get all of the amazing flavours they create, like Curly Wurly (milk chocolate over a caramel strip) or Flake (flaked and rolled milk chocolate). They even have mint flavoured! For now I will deal, but I am seriously thinking about placing an order with an import chocolate shop. Please place an order with me if you are interested!

OK, this is not a craving. Possibly an obsession??

Anyway, here is a list of items I obsess over on a daily basis:

1) Oreo Double Stuf- I could eat a row of these every day. And that's being conservative.

2) Cadbury Irish Creme- it's like Bailey's caramel inside!

3) Cadbury Fruit and Nut- the old stand by.

4) Snickers Dark- imagine this as an ice cream bar?!

5) Elvis Peanut Butter and Banana Cups- these are no longer being made : (

6) Tagalong (Peanut Butter Patty) Girl Scout Cookies- can't wait until March!

Does carrot cake count as a vegetable?

Well, it did yesterday. And the cream cheese frosting? Yep, that's a serving of dairy.

Hey, I'm just letting you know.

21 Weeks

What's your sleep number?

Turns out mine is 349XYZ#$%&!

I'm only 20 weeks and already going to bed is an intricate operation. Did you know that pregnant women should be sleeping on their left side? All of the time? You can't sleep on your back because your uterus will flatten on your babies and the blood can't circulate. You can't sleep on your right side because your heart does not pump the blood down there very good. I also have this problem of my hips killing me because I'm in the same position for so long.

Here is my set-up to prevent middle of the night uterine collapsing in a semi-comfortable manner:

- Two pillows stacked longways along my back so I if I roll over I can't.
- Two pillows stacked between my legs. This allows many options of comfort: 1) two legs under stack, 2) one pillow between legs, 3) two pillow between legs, 4) one pillow under both legs, 5) one pillow under lower leg, second pillow between legs.
- One little pillow in front to hug and not roll too much forward.
- One pillow under head.

Somehow I still wake up staring at the ceiling.

Now try getting out of a pillow fortress 3 or 4 times in the night to go pee, careful not to pull a ligament. It's not so much getting out, actually, it's getting in.

Ouch!!

OMG! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

Last night I awoke with the most terrible pain ever. Twice. What I had was round ligament stretching pain- for two hours total. Yes, there were tears, fetal positions, and legs propped up on walls last night. Shout out to John for all his help. I will probably be getting this pain often. Yay.

"The pain is felt in the lower abdomen and groin area. There are two cord-like muscles located at the top of the uterus that extend through the abdominal wall and end in the vulva. Throughout pregnancy, the round ligaments will stretch and grow with the growing uterus and this can cause pain for the mother."

I don't know whose round ligament this is, but I was in the mood to gross people out.

Somehow I only heard about this in my pregnancy books. Why? I'd like to ask that to all the mothers out there I know. They conveniently forgot to mention this. I realize that I'm having twins and have to stretch a lot more, so they are off the hook for now. From what I see on T.V. (Baby Story), my belly will be the size of a hippity-hop, one of my favorite toys from the 70's/80's.

Making my belly a hippity-hop for halloween would much more interesting than the typical pumkin.** What do you think?

**Disclaimer: In case you are unaware, I am very sarcastic. The picture to the right above is photoshopped by me and I would never really do that to my belly. Unless I felt like being a smart ass..... oh, wait. Never mind about the disclaimer.

My Bad Week

It's a Boy! It's a Girl! Two of the most exciting moments in my life.

The worst moment of my life: "We think your little boy may have some anomalies."

I thought I might stop blogging. This was supposed to be a funny blog! I decided to put it off for awhile. My life was completely frozen. His problems are very personal, but they will be very public in about four months, so dealing with it and "coming out of the closet" should be a good thing.

Our little boy has two problems, which right now, according to our doctors' current thinking, are probably associated. 1) There might be a heart problem, which could be nothing or pretty severe. Confused as I am? Basically, we have to wait a month to return to the pediatric cardiologist to see what he thinks. His gut feeling is that it probably isn't worst case scenario, but he will be able to tell in October. 2) Arm abnormalities. The only thing we know for sure is that he is not moving is left arm and that the forearm is missing a bone- or the two bones are fused.

I have found a support site for parents of children like this. It sounds like we just won't know much until he is born. It could be a number of chromosomal abnormalities that have caused the arm problem, more if it ends up involving the heart. I cannot believe that we are the 1 out of 100,000 parents to have this happen to their child. It was a spontaneous altering of a chromosome; it just happens. I refused amniocentisis because 1 out of 200 cause miscarraige and it does not test for these lesser known disorders. If something happened, we would lose both babies. If I can hit the 1/100,000 lottery, why not 1/200? From what I've read, some people actually terminate their pregnancy because of something being wrong with their arm! Can you believe that?!

Luckily, we have good people working with us at National Naval Medical Center, Bethesda (John will be working at the Navy Yard until April). We will be able to see a pediatric orthopedic surgeon before he is even born. And we will know what is going on with the heart. We are doing so much better this week and hopefully I will have more funny stories.

Before I go, I must mention our little girl or she will assault me again. I have to make sure to give her equal attention. I was laying on the couch last week all sad and all of a sudden I was being repeatedly kicked and my belly was jiggling. With a three inch leg! I really think she was telling me to knock it off. She is constantly moving around. That's how I knew I was having a girl, because in my family, the girls are the trouble makers.

Trying to fatten me up

For some reason, getting me fat means that my babies aren't starving. So even though I have been avoiding sugar, I have now been told to have a big bowl of ice cream before I go to bed. At first I was a little uneasy about this, but then I got excited. Maybe too excited. I'm a little disappointed that I'm not in WI with a frozen custard place on every corner. For those of you that have never had the true WI frozen custard, I cannot even get into it or I will cry. Anyway, I began to buy Ben & Jerry's, because obviously, their ice cream is awesome. Very pricey, though- until I found that the Andrews commissary (grocery store) sells B & J's tubs for $1.80. Yes, $1.80!! I decided to explore flavors I had never had before because I ALWAYS get Phish Food. Every flavor has so far been judged against my precious Phish Food. Can I find a new favorite flavor?

Here is what I think of the flavors I have had so far:

Mint Chocolate Chunk: mint ice cream, chocolate chunks. The ice cream is not creamy enough and too hard. There is also only one mix-in: chocolate chunks- but not enough of them. My first B & J flavor besides Phish Food really disappointed me.

S'mores: Chocolate ice cream, toasted marshmallow swirl, chocolate chunks, and graham swirl. This is actually pretty great. The marshmallow swirl from the Phish Food now has a toasted flavor. There is an adequate amount of chocolate chunks. I didn't think there was enough of the sugary graham swirl. Overall, a fantastic choice.

Creme Brulee: sweet cream ice cream and carmelized swirl. OMG! This is soooo good! It is not chocolate, but man is this good. The problem is that it has a lot of sugar. I feel very guilty eating this.

Pistacio, Pistacio: pistacio ice cream w/ pistacios. This has a very mild taste and perfect sweetness. This has low sugar amounts for a B & J product, so I feel pretty good eating it. I plan on making a suggestion on the B &J website: have a special addition, adding a marhmallow swirl and maybe pinapple. Pistacio, Pistacio Pudding. It's genius!

Drum roll please. My favorite B & J flavor is..........

My next flavors to review are: Americone Dream, Brownie Batter, and possibly Fossil Fuel. We'll see what's available.

My Lumps

After a couple weeks of whining and trying to get people to tell me I was getting bigger, I finally felt some hard lumps in my belly. Now that I know that is actually the feti (after my latest docs appt), I can feel two separate lumps a lot of the time. Last Wednesday, both were on my right side and my belly was sticking out right there. That would have totally creeped me out a couple of years ago, but now it is pretty cool.

They are at least 4 inches from head to butt.

The second one's head is in the others belly with his/her butt in the air. It has John's butt. If it were my butt you would think it was head at first.