Bitchin About Bibs

I have to bitch about how stupid these bib makers are! Yeah, you, Carters, Gerber, and others.

I have about 25 bibs. You might think, "Gee, that is a lot of bibs." Amazingly enough, I need them all. I'm sure you can picture all of the spit-up action up in this hizzouse. I bought a few, some came with outfits, many as gifts.

First of all, what is with the awful old school velcro still used on most bibs? It's worse than sandpaper. The rough piece is like little short pins. This stuff can most certainly cause a baby's head to bleed. A patch of road rash on a baby just to feed them? It hasn't happened yet to Evan or Amelia, but a chunk of Evan's red hair was caught in it! I only noticed when I went to wash it. And getting the bib unvelcroed? You need to use two hands and the velcro is released with such force, your hand hits them in the back of their head causing whiplash. Old school velcro should be banned! You'd think only generic bibs had this. Nope. Carters is still guilty of old school velcro.

I say it should be banned because there is an alternative now. The new velcro consists of the soft side and the other side is a piece of plastic with ridges in it. It still grips the same. But why then would the velcro latch be located on the bib where a baby's ear would be? This is the newest trend in bibs. It is very hard to get these around a head. It's like swinging a padlock around their neck. And because the velcro is by the ear, what do you think happens when you unvelcro it after your baby has peacefully dosed off finally? They friggin' wake up! You almost had it right, Gerber. Why, Gerber, why?!

And snaps? I can't even snap a onesie on a thrashing newborn. How am I supposed to snap a bib in the back of a moving head? You can only get them off if you have strong finger nails. This is a popular style bib that comes with outfit gift sets. Stupid, stupid bibs.

You may think after this blog that I have nothing else in my life than to blog about bibs. Really, I just like to bitch. And be funny while bitching. I look forward to it!