My Boobs Ain't Yo' Biznass

I thought I had heard everything from people when I was out and about. Turns out there is a whole other set of comments and gestures that people make about twins starting in the eighth month. And a couple that are still asked even though they shouldn't be. At this point, I'm starting to get angry. I'm starting to turn that corner of being a B word back to them. I can feel it, anyway. Now, my friends know I have it in me, but to the outside world I'm actually very quiet. I feel sorry for the one who gets it from me- all that buildup. No I'm not.

Here is what I've experienced lately. Wow, I was trying to rank them and they are all equally bad to me!

1) The twin mom who insists on giving advice. I ran into a lady with twin 2 year olds, also a boy and a girl. First she told me that it is "Hell" when twins are 8 months. Then she went on about how much better it is when they are 2. Lastly, she told me, "Seriously, 8 months is just a shitty, shitty time." I don't feel that way about my 8 month olds. Boy I'm glad this lady said something or I wouldn't have known that I'm having a shitty time right now. Thank goodness! Wow, this is shitty! Twin parents of twins older than the twins of the mom you are giving advice to: STOP!

2) "Are they two boys?" I'm still floored by this. I personally think that Amelia is the cutest little girl. I think I get this because I put Evan in the front a lot and they look at him and don't look in the back at her. And she wears the cutest girl clothes, so I just don't know anymore. I am hoping to get up the courage to say, "Yes, two boys, but one is transgender."

3) "Are they twins?" I'm going to start saying, "No." Just let them figure out how stupid they are. They don't look 9 months apart. They obviously aren't identical (yes, I still get asked), so maybe they think that I decided to take in a foster child around the same time I had a baby of my own? Ooh! I'm going to use that one!

4) "Didge y'all cheat?" Can you believe this one? I've heard of people asking twin moms if they used fertility drugs, but it is even weirder when asked by a redneck loading a new twin stroller into your car.

5) Stepping in front of my stroller and forcing me to stop so they can look at the twins. Even worse? Not saying anything to me!! They usually say, "how cute"-with no eye contact- and then get on their way. I really need to just keep the stroller rolling and roll right into them.

6) A lady walked up to me a few weeks ago and asked if I was breastfeeding. What's worse is that she did it on purpose because I was feeding Amelia a bottle! She wanted to know why I wasn't anymore. Now I know I've bitched about this one before, but c'mon- is it really a shock that I'm not breastfeeding two 15 pounders? I hate people.

7) "Are you going to have any more?" Why do complete strangers ask this? What do they care? I find that there is no right answer for this. You can't tell the truth, because that would be a long drawn out answer. So I make up some short yes or no one-liner. I find that people are happier when I tell them "I'm done because I have a boy and a girl and now my life is complete". Whatever will get them away from me the fastest.

8) Last but not least is the event that really pissed me off good. It's not that bad, but it really got to me. I'm standing in line at the post office and there is a stupid lady (SL) behind me ogling at the twins. Here is our exact conversation:

SL: Is the girl younger?
Me: No, they are twins.
SL: Yeah, I know that (with attitude), but is the girl younger?
Me: You mean was she born later? Yeah, I guess (with attitude), like a minute if you call that younger.
SL: I knew it. I knew she was younger. I could tell.

This was my first experience of almost blowing it. What did she mean "younger"? Twins are the same age. I was just furious at how ignorant some idiots are. I came home and told John, called my sister, -it just got to me!

Crazy Meli

Amelia is not satisfied with one toy. After she is done with them, she turns them over and tries to stand on them.

She purposefully said her first word today (we think). It was Daddy (boo!). John held his arms out and she said, "Dada", and went to him.

She also stood all alone for 5 seconds or so on Thursday.

Here is a bonus cuteness pic. I had to show off the matching Dr. Seuss tattoo onesies. Matching is a rare find, not sure why.

Picture Backlog

There are so many that I say I will post and never do. So I'm just going to start loading them up! From July to September, oldest to newest.

These next few are from their 7 month photo op attempt.

Evan crashing from a sugar high ;)

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Flock of Seagulls bedhead. "And I crawled, I crawled so far away,.."

My future geographer.

Lethal Weapon

This is why one of my nicknames for him is Lethal Weapon. I am constantly running for Amelia when he starts kicking. He still isn't understanding that it hurts, but hopefully soon (??).

Swinging

Amelia's scrunchy face- and look at that tooth!

Evan looks so chunky here.

Accessorize!

This is why I love cold weather! I'm not happy about moving to snow country in a month and a half. But since I love winter accessories, I am going to make the most of it. Fabulously. And now I get to accessorize my babies. Help me, I can't stop.

Evan's Big Smile

Evan is so darn happy. He now sports a huge smile (unless he's hungry). His cheeks go way out, as far as possible.

He also has two teeth on the bottom now and two more almost in on top, for a total of 5 teeth! His new love is Mickey Mouse Club House on Disney. Meeska, mooska, mouska, Mickey Mouse! And the jumparoo. He is doing pretty good sitting up for a few seconds by himself. It is going to take him awhile to find the balance because he can't get up on all fours, like Amelia did when she first sat up. He does prop himself up using the crib. Right now his version of sitting is laying on his side and propping himself up on his right elbow. Like a tripod. The therapists say that he is just going to figure it out on his own.

They are also trying to figure out how we are going to get his right thumb to act more like a thumb. It stays on the side more and can't grab something from underneath like a normal thumb does. This may become a problem in the future to grab small things, but now he is doing just fine. He uses his pinky finger and thumb to go behind an object when he grabs it. It works! It is upsetting that we have to get new therapists every time we move. I'm hoping Shriner's can give us some options for therapy, since they deal with this all of the time.

Yes, we got Evan into Shriners Twin Cities (Minneapolis), which I did not know until recently is specifically an orthopedics hospital for children. The top surgeon for Evan's left arm's condition is the head of the hand anomaly surgery department there. However, they haven't finished going over all of his records and have not called for his first appointment. We were hoping to go in October because John can get time off. Fortunately, we have an appointment in that surgeons office on October 9th, which we made before he got into Shriners. So we are going anyway, I hope she doesn't mind. I hope not, we are paying for it! I guess now when we get our Shriners appointment I will have to fly two babies all alone to WI, drop off Amelia, then drive to Minneaplois in the winter. Yay.

Here is one of my favorite pics. I would put this on my wall if he weren't in a diaper. But then I couldn't see the belly, which is the best part. Love it.

Here is some live action smiling.

Happy 8 months!

I tried to get a nice picture. Really I did. But as you can see from the last picture, there was quite a bit of drama.

Big Man Tooth

Look what we can do this week

Evan loves to read!

Evan using his small arm to do just about anything!

Amelia standing using one arm (and some attitude)

Amelia's new sound.

Teeth, Fevers, and Krispy Kremes

Well, it's been rough around here. I didn't know Labor Day weekend meant John and I would be laboring over these kids. The kids both got a cold (runny nose, coughing, sneezing, low fever) over the weekend. First it was Evan up all night, then it switched to Amelia on Sunday night. We were beat!

They are just about done with the cold now with only a slow ooze still exiting their noses. I can't believe how much they fight when we wipe their nose. Amelia screams at the top of her lungs and we can't even hold on to Evan. He is so strong. We had to give up on him a few times. Then later when his nose was crusty, I picked him up and said, "Evan, you've got a glazed Krispy Kreme nose. With two holes!"

I've heard teething doesn't cause colds, but even my mom agrees that they seem to coincide. Amelia still has the two teeth on the bottom and Evan now has one tooth on the bottom and one on the top. The top tooth gives him a different look. He is not my baby anymore when he smiles. Boo hoo. It is darn cute, though. I will post a pic whenever I get one.

Have to go, Miss Amelia is sassing at my back to pay attention to her. Time to play. Again...