So you want twins?...

WARNING. "SOMEONE" HAS TOLD ME THAT THIS IS "A VERY NEGATIVE BLOG." I LOVE MY TWINS AND MY FRIENDS WITH TWINS LOVE THEIR TWINS. OF COURSE. EVERYONE LOVES THEIR CHILDREN. DUH. MAYBE I WILL PUT THE NEGATIVE STUFF IN ANOTHER BLOG, BUT FOR NOW I AM LEAVING THIS BECAUSE I CAN'T AND DON'T WANT TO TAKE IT BACK. JENNIFER.
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I have been meaning to bitch, I mean blog, about this for quite awhile. Recent events have finally got me motivated enough to lift my fingers up and down on this keyboard thing.

Since I have had my twins, people come up to me all the time and tell me how they always wanted twins. The younger ones tell me how they want twins.

So you want twins? Really. Really? Well let me tell you why you don't and I'm going to be pretty negative and bitchy about it.

Would you like to hold your babies for the first time right after giving birth? 'Cause 54% of twins are born before 36 weeks, so there is a good chance you will have to deal with the heartbreak of them being in the NICU, with tubes in them. They could be fighting for their lives, or maybe just needing to be helped along a little. Either way, it is horrible. I know twins born at 38 weeks who still needed to be in the NICU. I'm not sure why, I didn't want to ask the mother. I knew something had to be wrong, because I met those twins at therapy. Which brings me to my next point.

Would you like to bring your babies home and watch them grow up happy and healthy and have a perfect little time raising them? 'Cause I know four twin moms by meeting them when I take Evan to therapy, and I know "of" even more through those moms or the therapists. And at least one of the twins in each set needs therapy to help with eating, speech, development, or physical limitations. That means that you will spend your days running to therapists and instead of just playing with your babies, you will also be doing stretches or other therapy remedies throughout your day. Most of this goes back to the fact that twins are born too early. In Evan's case, he was considered full term (still had 4 weeks to bake), but let's not forget that it's pretty cramped in that good ole uterus. Which brings me to my next point.

If they get to bake for a good amount of time, there is still a risk of the twins squishing each other during development. Amelia was a bit of a room hog and forced Evan to remain in a squat position with his head down. So, he developed torticollis, meaning his neck muscle on one side doesn't want to stretch as much, so his head wants to tilt. I didn't know how common this was until I started to take him to therapy. Does this warrant a shirt for him that says, "It's a twin thing."?? But seriously, what bullcrap for him. On top of everything else, he has to deal with torticollis? COME ON!

Oh and here is one that just happened to me 10 minutes ago.

Do you want to enjoy holding a baby, watching them sleep, and just enjoying them? Running your fingers through their hair and kissing their cheek? Well, reality check, it's not going to happen if you have twins. This makes me want to cry every day. They are growing up so fast and I don't have a lot of baby time left. But I can't just enjoy my baby, 'cause there is another one I have to tend to when the first one falls asleep in my arms. I had to put my beautiful baby girl down just now even though I didn't want to 'cause Evan was crying for me.

Well now I told you off, girl working at The Children's Place, and you, you gortex coat wearing lady at the grocery store.

Why am I so fired up? Because my friend Laura is in the hospital with her twins for Failure to Thrive at 10 months. They were born at 28 1/2 weeks due to Intra-uterine Growth Restriction. She has been given the runaround by doctors, nurses, you name it. How frustrating is it to know as a mother that something is wrong and people, the people who are supposed to help, won't listen. Or won't return a fricking phone call!! This is the final straw on the "I want twins" bullshit I get at least once a week. We are hoping and agnostically praying up here that everything will turn out OK. We have plans for both of our Evans to one day run around the mall play area while making fun of singleton moms!

Good day, live long and prosper, peace I'm outta here.

Evan is standing!

Yep, he just stood up on Saturday using my knee for a boost. And now he just stands up on his own.

How does he stand up on his own, you ask? Well, let's just say that when Evan's therapists and doctors said he would figure out how to do things a little differently, I wasn't expecting this one! (Although I should have because he is known for his acrobatics.) He stands on his head, locks his knees, and uses his one arm and abs to lift up into standing position.

I will have to get some video of course- stay tuned!

Oh, he also got his first molar last week. It's a good thing, I was almost going to bring him in for a rabies shot.

More Proof

It's that time again- comparison photo time! I did the best I could, it's really hard to find the right angle to show just how much Evan looks like me and Amelia looks like John. All photos are around 1 year old except the one of Evan in the plaid shirt. He's 9 months in that one. Isn't it crazy?!

The Birthday Party

Yesterday was the big party and we had lots of fun. I ran out of time to do everything for it, but at least I got the cupcakes frosted on time, so I guess that's good enough. Having to watch two 1 year olds while mixing frosting and cake decorating isn't a good idea, buy hey, what can you do? Sometimes I need to step back and not be so freaking creative, but I can't help that I'm so gifted ;) See these cupcakes? I went around holding my cupcake asking people "How awesome are my cupcakes?" I used Marshmallow Buttercream frosting and is the best I've ever tasted on a cupcake.



Evan and Amelia had a great time playing with all of the cousins. They also got to visit with their Aunt Evelyns (Great and Great-great-great!).

Here are pics and videos of them eating their first frosted pastries. I thought that they wouldn't know what to do with them because I've never put any food that big in front of them. By the middle of singing Happy Birthday, they figured it out. I guess we all do, and the sugar addiction begins. I read online that I should be making carrot-whole wheat cupcakes with yogurt frosting and was like, I don't think so. That's way to new-agey for me. I would have liked to get them side by side, but we forgot their high chair trays. We always forget something.

How to play with an activity table.

This is how you are supposed to play with it.

That lasts 5 minutes tops with them.

Happy 1st Birthday Evan and Amelia!!

This is an exciting day. Well, except for the fact that I took them to the doctor today and got them shots. I didn't realize that that isn't very nice to do to them on their birthday. How horrible am I? I did it because I couldn't wait until next week to find out how big they are. I wanted to see if they are on the growth curve yet. Oh well, they get presents later, right?

Unfortunately, they are still zero percentile for height and weight! Amelia is only 15 lbs, 13 ozs and 27.5 inches, which means she has only gained 1/2 a lb since October. Evan is 17 lbs, 3 ozs and 28.5 inches. We thought for sure Evan would be over 18 lbs. The doctor didn't seem concerned because the growth curve is straightening out at 12 months, and they and I (?) am small, but I'm concerned. I think since they were born 4 weeks early they should still be growing a lot. I'm really sick of nonchalant doctors. I could stay on formula, I could switch to whole milk, whatever I want... Could I get some frickin' advice from a doctor? Jeezus.

We aren't having a birthday party until the 17th because John won't have to study too much that weekend. We won't be able to have everyone over, for obvious reasons, but they get to have a small "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" party with John's side of the family in Fall River. And yes, I do have some Mickey Mouse ears for them to wear (yeah, right).

To mark the occasion, here are what Evan and Amelia are doing right now:


Evan:

• scales the fence.
• stands in his crib.
• walks in an acrobatic style knee walk.
• hides toys behind his back so Amelia can't see them. As she moves around him, he moves the toy to the opposite side.
• knows the difference between the fake toy remote and the real remote and gets very angry when he wants the real one and you give him the fake one.
• throws tantrums in the high chair until you give him a puff (cereal, not a smoke).
• thinks I'm hysterical. Doesn't everyone?
• is perfectly happy playing with toys and kicking the ground.
• loves books and cries if you stop reading. Or if he sees one from afar and you try and hide it. This goes for DVD cases as well. I would just give them the books and cases, but they eat them!
• waves hello and goodbye, but not to strangers. He puts his head down for strangers so they don't know he's there.

Amelia:

• dances to music.
• tries to pull her shirt over her head.
• tries to climb over the fence.
• walks in circles.
• screams at the top of her lungs if she doesn't get her way.
• screams at the top of her lungs for no reason.
• is addicted to her mommy and wants her all day long all the time.
• can drink out of a straw.
• also cries when she sees a DVD case and we take it away.
• is addicted to her pacifier. I am not looking forward to stopping that soon.
• lights up when I put shoes on her. Of course.
• loves to be thrown into the air.
• has done a couple of somersaults all by herself!
• waves Hi and has said "Hi", too!

Here are pics from today. My camera spontaneously deleted the first batch, which I'm torn to pieces about because they were really good.

"Stay there so I can take a picture. Please!"

"I'm tired, I'll think I'll sit down for a bit."

"I'm coming to get you, Mom..."

Monkey brains!!

Evan giving his froggy blanket (not kitty) kisses.

Looking Back...

I wanted to look back on my year with the babies before their birthday. This way their birthday can be only about happy stuff!

This past year was very happy for me. And very sad. And very happy again.

I will never forget waddling around that big. I will never forget the weight of my belly. I will never forget being asked, "how does Wednesday sound?", when we went in for our ultrasound on January 7th and it was determined they had to come out.

I will never forget the shakes during the operation, my blood spurting into the air, nor both my babies being held up in the OR lights and saying, "they both have red hair!"

I will never forget hardly feeling my own heartbeat, John having to push my legs off the bed for me to help or go to the bathroom, and watching John change our babies' first diapers. I will never forget when John left me alone with them to get something to eat and Evan wasn't breathing right. I will never forget running into the bathroom crying holding Amelia because the hospital staff would not stop scanning Evan's brain right infront of me. I will never forget that John told them enough is enough and to leave because they were upsetting me (my hero).

I will never forget Amelia's dramatic crying at only a month old or how wonderful that swing was!

I will never forget trying to get Evan to eat more than an ounce. I will never forget March 5th, when Evan was hospitalized for heart failure and having to learn how to feed him through a tube through his nose. I will never forget how tiny he was, all skin and bones. I will never forget him licking his pacifier the night before the operation and wanting to break down and drop to my knees.

I remember March 18th like it was yesterday. With mixed feelings, I let the anastesiologist carry him away, scared of the unknown, happy and forcing myself to be confident that he would be fixed.

And the rest is a blur! Just kidding. The rest of the year was challenging, with all of Evan's therapy and Amelia- well, Amelia is just challenging!

I will never forget all of the people that helped us out in time of need, especially the medical staff and NNMC, WRAMC, and National Children's, and fell in love with both of them (they come as a package).

My family came to help during the hard times and my mom is already making plans to help out again next year. I don't want to think about the hard times that may come next year. Or the year after. Back surgery (needed) and arm surgery (elective) may lay ahead. We are continuing to watch Evan for symptoms of tethered cord and kidney/bladder issues. He has now become a little boy with a huge personality and lots of kisses for mommy. Surgery is going to be so hard on me. Just signing the anastesiology "this could happen" consent form is going to kill me.

OK, that's enough depressing stuff. On to the fun day that is tomorrow!!

Here are a couple of recent pics for comic relief:

NOYFB Shirts are here!!

After it was brought to my attention that my blog was number one on Google for "NOYFB shirt", (which it is not anymore), I thought it would be funny to make my shirts on Cafe Press! I don't expect anyone to by one, but I might get one for myself. I wish I still had my cube, because I would totally have a NOYFB mug on my desk!

I have more ideas for shirts, but I don't feel like paying a monthly Cafe Press fee to sell more designs. More creative fun I'm having, I guess. Anyway, here is the link to my shirts. Oh, and I have a "Fancy NOYFB" shirt for all the fancy ladies out there :)

http://www.cafepress.com/midnightmadness